moon1

Many of us have heard the declaration, “If they can put a man on the moon then they can . . .”  finished with any number of wishful endings.  Well, the brilliance of mankind has once again manifested, in this case in the invention of a bidet and toilet seat in one fabulously fresh, life changing package.  Say goodbye to toilet paper and hello to a whole new definition of clean.

The high-tech solution which resolves a distasteful but daily (hopefully) clean up activity is the bidet toilet seat. There are many different options available to the discerning consumer with varying features and cost. The basic concept is a bidet seat that is retrofitted onto your existing privy, and yes - several sizes/shapes are offered by a variety of vendors.

Upscale models include a remote control to operate the many features available including variable water pressure/temperature, orifice selection or more politely stated “water position”, pulsating cleanse and a drying fan. Too good to be true, plus a magnanimous gesture to the environment. Think of the trees that can be repurposed to more productive uses like cocktail/appetizer menus!

All this AND a gentle glow midnight blue night light, a warmed seat (with quiet-close) and of course the obligatory power save mode.  Landing a man on the moon pales in comparison to the significance of this addition to the lifestyle of the rich and famous. I’m sure Neil Armstrong would agree, especially after ten days in a space suit.

One additional expense to be budgeted is the addition of a nearby electrical outlet. Personally, I was a bit apprehensive as my electrician ran a dedicated line from the main service at $125.00/hr.  However, I can attest that few if any devices offered by the weird minds that come up with these things have made such a contribution to my quality of life. And, on top of that my wife agrees with enthusiasm.

She was more than skeptical with the entire concept but is now an evangelist for clean bottoms (and female nooks and crannies) through the miracle of warm water targeted at just the right spot.

It’s nice to be absolutely right now and then.