It is not easy for me to be honest. I grew up thinking I had to lie to people to get them to like me. I needed to somehow be someone I wasn’t in order to burn away invisible scars that I was sure everyone could see. I thought I had to, for instance, get… Continue Reading

On June 3, I released “Choose Yourself!” and I put on the very first page an offer that has never been put in a book before. I offered to pay people back if they proved to me that they bought the book and if they can also prove that they read the book within the… Continue Reading

Martin Luther King nominated Thich Nhat Hanh for the Nobel Peace Prize in 1967 and he’s a buddhist monk and peace activist. And when he was standing right in front of me tonight I was blown away by what he said. We went to an opening for an exhibit of his calligraphy. He looked like… Continue Reading

I’m breaking all the rules. I’m at a silent retreat for the week. No talking! My wife is two doors down. She said to me before we went silent for the week, “put your computer on airplane mode.” It’s in a beautiful area. There are paths and trees and birds and flowers and benches to… Continue Reading

I’m taking a day off from writing about crying on the floor. I feel like I’ve written 600 posts about either failure or naked people. Instead, I’m going to share two things I’ve done that have changed my life for the better and I don’t know anyone else who does them. A) Get yourself 1000… Continue Reading

I called up my favorite writer, William Vollman, and told him I had AIDS. He had just written a book (this was around 1994) about a guy who went to Thailand who got AIDS. I didn’t have AIDS. I wanted to somehow connect to Vollmann. I didn’t know anyone with AIDS. I didn’t know any… Continue Reading

One day I was so scared, I couldn’t get out of bed. I felt empty because everything I had ever worked for and ever wished for had gotten me to this point: lying on a mattress with no job, no money, no friends or family. But I wasn’t scared about the past. I was scared… Continue Reading

I stopped a ten million dollar robbery last week. For various reasons, including Claudia is slightly worried I could get killed, I am changing all of the names. All of the other details are intact. A few weeks ago, a guy claiming to be related to Middle Eastern royalty, (call him “M”), had a representative… Continue Reading

I want people to read my book that is launching today. Everything in here helped me survive when I was ready to kill myself. Helped me thrive. I believe in the message more than I believe in making any financial benefit from this book. My desire is that the message helps people. Below is the… Continue Reading

I gave my 11 year old daughter important advice the other day: there’s no painless way to kill yourself. “What about with a gun?” she said. I told her about a friend of mine who shot himself in the mouth. He put the gun in his mouth and pointed upwards towards the brain. He missed.… Continue Reading

One time I tried to move into a homeless shelter in Pittsburgh. I had this image that it would be like some sort of sex dormitory. I would meet all of these homeless ex-prostitutes or lonely single mothers and we would sneak into each other’s rooms and fall in love. We would whisper really quietly… Continue Reading

Wade had sex with Karen and now I had to fire him. She was our top designer. And he was also starting to make fun of one of my partners behind his back. He’d do that roll-the-eyes thing whenever my partner spoke.

Story #1: One time Barry Diller was visiting Sergey Brin and Larry Page. The topic of the meeting was to see how the greatest media mogul could work with the greatest Internet moguls. It was like two galaxies colliding to create something beautiful when seen from light years away. Larry Page was texting or doing… Continue Reading

Rob told me JB was dead. JB was my best friend growing up. We sat next to each other on the bus. After school we’d play ping pong or pinball or monopoly or ride bikes. Every single day we did this for eight years. Then we drifted apart. Rob said, The last time I spoke… Continue Reading

Dear Google, I sort of want to have sex with you. Or I want you to be my father. Or my best friend. I don’t know, I feel so nervous writing this letter. I hope you write back but you can’t because you’re God and God has to care for all of Her People and… Continue Reading